


I am not broken [ An angel’s lament]

by Kiaramielicious



Category: Justice League
Genre: F/M, Flash Greenade - Freeform, Jayroy, M/M, jaydick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-12-26 19:40:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18288926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiaramielicious/pseuds/Kiaramielicious
Summary: Dick Grayson was too young to remember that his parents act was sabotaged, he also can’t remember that Deathstroke lies when he said he was given to the mercenary. The assassin has twisted feelings for the archangel reincarnated boy and though he abuses the 6 year old constantly, he feels affection for him deep beneath it all. After year of abuse Dick’s self esteem is completely destroyed, he’s convinced he belongs at Slade’s feet like a pet and when the Justice League find him, he has to learn how to live all over again. It’s a slow process and Hal and Bruce are constantly competing for his affection but they might as well be walking on eggshells. The only one who seems to be able to be near him without setting the boy off is Jason, Bruce’s first ward who has taken fierce affection for his new little brother. It may take years but the Justice League is determined to show the little angel that he is loved and that his place is in their crazy family and they will do whatever it takes to protect him from the killer that will stop at nothing to get him back.





	1. I won’t hurt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is just a heads up. What will follow is not for the lighthearted.

Dick scrambled, or rather dragged himself to a feeling of somewhat safety under the control console as red lights flashed in the compromised base.

The stretching shadows of the dimly lit room made him quake because he's used to being thrown in pitch black freezing places and that no matter how hard he tries is eyes just can't adapt to the darkness because that's just it. It's just...dark. Just like the rest of the compound it inspired a strange sense of peace, it was always still and unmoving. Any sound resonated within only to wither and die, the silence that succumbed it always felt more opaque, it made his ears ring numbly with each heartbeat. 

Always thrown into a room like a neglected animal, too troublesome to be taken care of so instead put behind a door for him to scratch and claw at until his fingers are scraped raw, bleeding to no end just like his feet and his knees before ultimately sinking behind the bloody door, crying like a whining dog waiting for it's owner to retrieve their pet because the silence is too intense, too strong for him to bear.  
Desperate to sit at their feet and be good this time-and not mess up anymore- because good pets don't fail doing what they are told no matter what that may be. They sit and obey and speak when spoken to. Good dogs didn't get punished weren't left alone in the deafening silence because they are perfect.  
The cells are always dark and cold, the floor covered with the familiar stains that are his blood. There aren't any eloquent shadows that follow behind every sententious being, moving and twisting like bodies and limbs and claws and-and...Dick started to regret wanting to be let out.  
At least he knows that they are empty. No unwanted surprises, no blinding lights.

Dick squeezed his eyes shut and frantically tried to block the never-ending blaring of sirens that made him fear deafness because he just couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't handle the pain that was rolling off his body in waves and the feeling of his fragile eardrums being pierced with the whistle rippling through the air.

The small child pulled his legs against his chest, fighting against the pain that it caused and he couldn't help but chastise himself, repeating words spoken earlier.

'if I had been good it wouldn't hurt.' This is his own fault. But Dick hadn't been good, and the man that was superior to him in every way, gracious and benevolent enough to lower himself to his level in didn't have time to deal with a disobedient pet so he left him here and that made Dick feel like such a failure. He hated that master felt he couldn't trust him. It made him feel angry at himself and left him crying quietly, waiting for him to return so he could finally prove to his master that he could be a good boy. One that sits and obeys and speaks when spoken to. One that doesn't need to be corrected because he is perfect. 

But he knows he will never be perfect, he is no one, nothing and he is lucky enough as it is but he still hopes. He knows it'll hurt him in the long run to hope for anything but the boy just can't help but imagine that one day he will make his owner proud, that one day he will look him in the eye and be by his side. It's a shameful thing to do, he knows his place is here, he knows.

But he just aches for approval, for him to pat him and for him to tell him he is proud, he wants it so badly that he can feel it all through his bones and into the deepest darkest furthest part of his being, its unquantifiable. Dick didn't want him to be angry at him and yell and grab his hair to drag him to his cage because he can't trust not to make any noise. 

Dick shuts his eyes, he barely manages to continue breathing as the loud banging in the background was replaced by an even more ghastly disquietude.  
Someone pounding against the doors.

The 6 year old child fought to keep himself from crying though he is failing as tears soundlessly stream down his face, his arm is broken and he doesn't need a doctor to know it's severed in multiple places and there is the faint knowledge in the back of his mind that it will require surgery and that master will not be pleased with that but he can't think of that right now. When he tries to move it onto his stomach to cradle against him so it isn't sticking awkwardly for anyone to see, he nearly isn't able to hold back the scream of pain he wants to set free because it hurts. But the pain mixes with the anger he feels because if he had just behaved it wouldn't hurt.

Although it felt incredibly uncomfortable, the muzzle that squeezes his face and makes him take longer, deeper breaths helps, as he at least has the firearm to bite down on. Though he realises now that it hurts his teeth as well but it almost doesn't matter because the pain the tight clench of his jaws bring is nothing compared to the feeling of sickness brought by the blood and spit that have made him want to gag at least two times but he swallowed it down, to afraid to make a sound. Deathstroke always heard the smallest sound he made.  
The smallest broken sob, the smallest whimper. He isn't allowed to make these sounds so he bites harder. The uncessing banging had become deafening with Dick's already throbbing head and he wondered if the door would be able to withstand its violent treatment much longer. Master wasn't here, if he was the none of this would be happening, because he always knew what to do.  
How had this happened?  
How had he let this happen?  
How had they known he wasn't here?  
Who. Were. They. 

Questions seemed to pummel his brain until he was dizzy because master would want to know and he was going to be so so mad. He should know what was happening and yet he hadn't a single clue about how to handle the chaos eventuating around him. His master was going to be furious- livid and Dick can't help the small distressed noise he makes because he can still remember the last time master was that angry, he had taken all his anger out on the first thing he found which ended up being well...him.

The trembling boy's breaths became shorter and he began to hyperventilate, which was undeniably bad because it left him feeling sick and light headed-which he couldn't afford to be right now because his chest already screamed in protest every time he inhaled the dusty air, his throat felt clogged and the minute stream of oxygen that he did manage to inhale through his panic and the bloody muzzle was what he assumed would feel like acid pouring into his lungs.

He again grit his teeth on the firearm and forced himself to calm down, counting. Usually he would count out loud the rare times he was alone and it always managed to calm him, it was the only thing he had, numbers brought him small comfort compared to what a child his age should normally have but for Dick it was enough, it had to be enough, there was nothing else.

He counted in his mind, covering his ears in an attempt to block out the sound of the alarms and the door that was beginning to give out under the pressure.

"One" 

Dents formed in the door.

"two, three," 

Bolts flew from the hinges a few meters away from his feet spinning to a stop on the ground.

"Four." Dick whimpered 

In one last deformed screech, the main gate gave out and plummeted to the ground in a clang of metal and cement, sparks flying through the dirt and dust that had been lifted into the air making it impossible for him to see who had brought it down, what device had they used to destroy a titanium gate it so quickly?

Five. He gasped as footsteps approached his hideout.

His trembling fingers gripped his damaged shoulder and he backed against the cold wall, he was too numb to notice he was smudging his still warm blood all over it.

It would normally have been a great deal to him and if he could still manage to get it over his head he would surely have searched his poor excuse of a shirt for a spot that wasn't already dyed in dark red stains and gotten rid of any trace he left but he needed to concentrate on not drawing attention to himself. 

Dick felt his throat tighten to the point where it burned but he swallowed down any sound as footsteps grew closer to his safe haven until there was barely any distance remaining between them.

From the angle of his vision he couldn't see their faces, their voices reached him through the sound of his heart pounding in his ears mixing erroneously with the screaming alarms but he estimated there were only a few, maybe three or four?  
It was hard to tell but he kept his breathing low nevertheless. 

They suddenly stopped their progress and he tried to be as quiet as possible while listening to their exchange.

"It came from there." 

His heart stopped when he saw their silhouettes turn towards him through the dust. The air was filled with tension as the small group of intruders slowly directed themselves towards his hiding spot and Dick barely managed to remember how to breathe.  
Pushing himself backwards with his feet as hard as he could manage with his throbbing leg.

They all froze when the deep voice he heard spoke again with something of apprehension in voice. "It is afraid. I believe it sees us as a threat."

How he knew that was beyond Dick, all he knew was that his master hadn't told him anything about these people and he didn't know what to do. They knew where he was, whoever they were and he was cornered, completely at their mercy because of his own inadequacy, he should have gone for the vents but he wouldn't have been able to climb it anyway, his leg made sure of that. He felt completely helpless with his leg that couldn't support his weight after being so crudely injured. Like a prey, desperately hiding from a predator, conceived to smell and hunt his fear. Everything always got worse when he was afraid, he kept messing up when he was afraid. And messing up never went well.

Dick didn't hear them talk again before someone knelt in front of him. The boy recoiled when he faced his masked eyes, they were completely white, but his gaze seemed to pierce him like a needle. The mask shifted on his face crushing up at his nose with his expression that became more grave, his eyebrows narrowing as seemed his mouth that was pulled into a tight frown.

"Oh jeez." He breathed out and Dick couldn't help the panic he felt because he didn't understand the expression on his face, he had never seen it before. 

The young boy watched curiously when he turned back to the group of intruders. 

"It's a kid. He's hurt. " He said turning to face the other strangers.

Dick's heart went faster when the man once more crouched so that their eyes were on the same level and spoke to him with a soft voice. Dick was surprised it wasn't deeper he hadn't heard a lot of people except Deathstroke for the last few years, it was unnaturally calm, which that in itself surprised him more. Why was he so calm? It seemed unreal, perhaps he was trying to lure him out?

"Hey buddy."

Surprised turned to confused when the man sat down and crossed his legs. Why would he sit in the dirt with him? When master brought Dick with him when he went on long missions he made his place very clear, by his feet on the floor like a good pet. 

The man reached towards him slowly with his gloved and the boy couldn't help but flinch, he didn't like being touched, being touched led to being grabbed and grabbed led to being tossed and thrown and- and...Dick didn't like it.

"Hey it's okay I won't hurt you."

Dick's eyes widened in complete surprised but he remained apprehensive, he was lying, right? Why would he-they, why would they break in if they weren't intending on hurting anyone? Maybe they knew who he belonged to and just didn't want to get on his bad side even more than they already had. The man frowned and Dick could feel the apprehension crawl onto his face, did he do something wrong?! Frustration and fear melted together, why couldn't he just-just be good for once? Why is it that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't he behave like he was supposed to?

Dick whimpered while thinking of everything he could have done to upset him, there were a lot of things he wasn't allowed to do in the presence of his master, painfully learned so, but he did occasionally forget which was always reminded by Deathstroke's unwavering glare as he beat the lesson into him. 

"Hey hey it's okay, nobody's mad at you buddy. My name's Green Lantern, I'm a hero." The man said his frown morphing into a concerned expression as frightened tears appeared in the small boy's already damp eyes. 

But Dick turned his gaze away from him because he didn't believe him, he couldn't understand what was going on, who were these people?! 

What was a hero?! 

Why did they break in the base? 

What was he supposed to do?

Was this a test? Dick racked his mind for every possible explanation, it could be. He had a test like this once. He had failed. Miserably, as master had said. He always seemed to fail when it came to satisfying his masters demands. He hated himself for being so incompetent. Couldn't he do anything right? Although it was so far in the past his lesson had been duly taught. There was no way out of this life and there never would be.  
Dick suddenly became extremely self-conscious of himself, if this was a test then his master would be looking at his every move, watching intently his every movement, scowling at the slightest mistake. 

"Do you want me to take that off for you?" The frowning man said pointing his muzzled face with his gloved hand.

At that moment Dick was almost certain it was a test because why would anyone ask him that?  
Only master could decide whether or not he was allowed to to remove it.  
This time he would give the right answer.  
Yet he found himself staying there a few seconds more, pondering because it would be a lie, and master had taught him that he wasn't allowed to say lies, he did want him to take it off. If he was still willing to that is. But then he realised that he was serious, judging by the way he was looking at him, patiently waiting for his answer.  
But why was he asking him? He could take whatever he wanted from him couldn't he?  
He couldn't say no.  
Dick didn't have that privilege. W-wait, why was he still waiting? Was he asking for his permission? That didn't seem right...he wasn't allow to decide anything, it wasn't his place.

Dick blinked, what if he was?  
What is he supposed to say?  
What is he supposed to say?  
What if he was wrong?  
What if that wasn't the right answer? Then they would tell master that he failed yet again he would tell him how disappointed he was because he truly was hoping that he could behave while he was gone, and that from now on he would have to leave him in his cage like a bad pet. Just the thought of it made him curl on himself more but he really really wanted Green Lantern to take off his muzzle because it forced him to take longer breaths and he wanted to gag every time he managed to breathe so Dick chose to put his doubts aside for once and slowly raised his eyes and nodded, carefully.  
Immediately, a feeling even worse than doubt began to fill his heart, one that he hated because it was always right. What had he been thinking?! Master was probably on his way here right now! Fuming that he had dare agree to such a thing. So he closed his eyes and waited for the Green Lantern to start yelling at him and pull him out from under the console to better hit him, but he never did. Instead he felt his hands brush his shoulders and reach behind his neck. Dick blinked in surprise when the muzzle became loose and the strap went over his head, he watched in disbelief as it was thrown a few feet away from him.

"See? We're the good guys. We won't hurt you."

He wasn't in trouble?  
Even as he heard some words directed towards him he still couldn't quite process what was being told because he wasn't in trouble?  
That was...it felt..Dick had never been so relieved.  
When master got back, surely he would tell him he was pleased he hadn't lied and that made his heart swell with happiness. He wanted to ask him when he could see his master but he could only stare at him, his tongue felt glued to the inside of his mouth because the man didn't look pleased, he looked angry. Angry. Why was he angry? He had been wrong after all? But why hadn't he yelled or grabbed him if he was?! Dick couldn't help but sink in despair because he had been so relieved that he hadn't messed up for once. Relinquishing any hope he had found, Dick hung his head in shame. Waiting to be told how disappointing he had been, that's all he was he was good at wasn't it? To disappoint. 

"Do you want to come with us?"  
Go with them? Did he mean leave? Is that why they were there? Did his master ask them to get rid of him? Did he tell them he couldn't be bothered by such a bad pet anymore? Shame and guilt seemed to take over him and tears appeared in his eyes, he was not wanted anymore? 

"Did my master send you to take me away?" Dick couldn't help the crack in his voice because he felt so utterly useless. 

Because even master didn't want him anymore.

"I'm sorry your what?"

Cold fury radiated from them and the boy flinched at the sound because he kept making everyone angry, why couldn't he stop being so bad?

Dick stopped listening as the man got up and turned around to speak with the other intruders. He stopped listening as his unshed tears began to roll down his face. 

"Hey buddy could you come out from under there? You think you can do that for us?"

The boy was so busy thinking about how unwanted he was he barely heard the command but nodded numbly and crawled out from under the console and slumped on his knees. 

He jumped when he was scooped up from the floor but didn't resist and let himself be handled, his legs were positioned on either sides of the man's waist, his head rested on his shoulder and he tiredly thought that it was rude to lean on someone but the man didn't seem to notice so he took advantage of it and cried quietly as they turned around. 

All he could do while he was taken away was stare sadly as the computer seemed to get smaller and think to himself that good boys aren't sent away.


	2. She hadn’t meant to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman being his usual supspicious self and Diana a motherhen

Dick was curled on the ground with his legs drawn to his chest, it felt like he was laying on a block of ice but he knew from his documents and textbooks that the reason he was struggling to breathe was because his immune system was depressed to some degree by the cold which particularly affects the upper respiratory tract when cold air is breathed in. 

Dick didn't panic when he stopped being able to move because he knew cold results in less blood supply to the extremities in order to preserve body heat in the core of the torso and head. So he remained still there, small hiccups racking his refrigerated body. 

The sound of metal filled his ears and he forced himself to roll over and slump on his right side to face the door. The room cracked with light and Dick was nearly blinded by the brightness, his expanded pupils adapting to the brightness. He hadn't seen anything bright in what felt like days, he blinked, it probably had been. His eyes were feeling very heavy and he could barely make out the tall shape that was crouching besides him. 

"I hope you realise why I am putting you in here." The loaming mercenary stated in his usual calculating voice, thick with disappointment and it makes him feel the need to apologize for the trouble he'd caused.

"I-Im sorry-" Dick stuttered before he yelped as he was smacked across the face, the sound of flesh being hit momentarily filling the refrigerated chamber. Dick couldn't help the cry that followed when his master grabbed him by the hair and forced him to look at him in the eyes. He was never allowed to look him in the eyes except when he was very upset.

"Have I permitted you to speak?"  
Came the growl that made the boy flinch because he hadn't. He hadn't been given permission to speak. Dick slowly shook his head no and sobbed loudly when the grip on his hair forced him to his knees. 

"Correct. Perhaps I should muzzle you until I can trust you to remember to keep yourself silent."

Terror settled in the boy, only a glimpse of it showing on the traits of his flushed face when he saw the assassin move an arm from behind his back, a muzzle in hand. For a moment all that could be heard were the child's terrified pleas and cries of fear, cut short by a violent pull made him cry out in pain. The contraption was shoved into his mouth when there was an opening and Dick could feel salty tears rolling down his cheeks as he was spun around on forced to bow while the muzzle was tied behind his head. Dick is sobbing by then because it hurts and the strap is too tight- and he can feel it squeezing his face-he chokes on his tears because he can't breathe right anymore. 

His head is thrown forward a bit but Dick thinks that at least the grip on his hair is gone but it isn't enough to stop his crying.

"You will remain here until you can behave yourself." The child heard before the door closed again and what had been a thick stream of light gradually became smaller until he was again left in the dark. He cried and cried until his throat hurt and stayed there, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the fear that crept inside him. 

It was so dark in here, so cold and dark and he felt so alone, no one could hear him, no one could see him because no one cared. No one but his master. He knew this was for his good but it still hurt, it hurt to be alone. Why did he always have to be alone.

 

____

 

 

Dick's eyes shot open but immediately closed because of the previously nonexistent light that suddenly flooded the room, he tried to cover his eyes but he found they were laying on each side of his body.

Since when had he been lying down? That was so strange he was sure a second ago the ground didn't feel so soft?  
Soft like-

Dicks eyes shot open and so did pain through his arm when he tried to sit up, he squeezed his eyes shut and brought it to his chest with surprising ease seeing as though it was broken in several places.

The boy tried to outstretch the broken limb to better assess the injury but was surprise to find that it was intact, but when he once again tried to support himself on it pain shot through his limb like electricity. It must have healed by the time he got here. He concluded although it would be painful for the next few days, the bones had been mended fairly quickly. Probably when he was asleep.

Dick swung his legs over the bed and leaped down, landing silently. At least, until he crumbled to the floor. 'Idiot.'  
He slowly got back on his feet, cautiously this time when he remembered about his healing leg and grabbed the blanket as firmly as he bruised fingers would allow him to hoist himself up. His immediate conclusion was that it wasn't nearly as painful, that was...better he, tried to think on a more positive note, somewhat relieved that he could maneuver himself with more ease. But anguish quickly flooded his mind when his memory cleared completely. He closed his eyes and the child bit his lip, taking a few shaky breaths to calm himself when he realized he had been thrown away, discarded like an object. He tried to forget how much it hurt, it hurt more than being alone, more than disappointing although he guessed he managed to do both this time, it felt like his heart was being broken and crushed into a thousand shards of glass by the weight of shame and instead turned his head around, his tearful eyes examining the room, quickly taking in his surroundings while he felt his senses return to him. The blurriness of his vision slowly diminished as he recited what he saw around him, keeping his hands busy by rearranging the covers of the bed he had been laying on. 

The walls were white. Bare for the exception of a small screen next to the door, 

'it can be opened from the inside? Strange.' 

A chair, a...pole with an IV bag and with a loose cord with a needle dangling from it? Dick noticed the end of it was red and oddly coincided with the specks of blood on his forearm. 

'It must have been ripped it out when he got off the bed.' Dick guessed when he tucked in the last corner of the blanket, brushing off the last of the dirt he had left on it. He took in the last few details before his eyes settled on the device in the corner of the room near the ceiling, facing him. 

A camera.

He was almost sure his heart stopped right then and there when he saw the red blinking light that signaled it was filming because that meant someone was watching him and that someone had seen him laying in a bed.

A bed.

Trembling in fear and shock of realisation of what that meant, Dick backed against the cold wall, that was good, walls were good, walls didn't shift and change and move, they were present, walls- they were good. The presence of the impediment pressing against him made his panic decrease slightly but not nearly as much as it usually did, he'd rather have his back against a wall than an opened space but his heart didn't slow down any less and suddenly he couldn't breathe, like the air had been sucked out of the room. What had he been thinking ?! Laying in a BED?! Of all the things he could have done, he chose to lay in a bed?! Any minute now someone was going to burst in and see him there and all he would be able to do is stutter stupidly at loss for words. His head was spinning again and so was the room, terrified and confused the boy sat down and dragged his legs against his chest in the safest position he could manage without jolting his sore limbs too much when suddenly a familiar itch ran down his spine, the need to stretch, to move, to fly nearly making him arch his back.

No he wasn't allowed to.  
He couldn't! Not in here he repeated to himself, as if it would calm the voice in his head screaming  
"Yes! Yes you can get out so easily! Movemovemove! Get out! GET OUT!"

He covered his head, the fingers of his hand that were intact fell in a tight clumsy grip in his hair, the pain being the only thing keeping his instincts under control, rooting him down. 

Dick struggled to finally get a few longer breaths, and as he did, the flutter in his back disappeared . Suddenly his heart missed a beat when his predictions came true and the door opened, the dizziness that followed plunged him in a mess of colors, drunkenly splattered across his vision, what should have been the two new occupants turning a jumbled mess of moving abstract shapes. 

A figure emerged from the dorway followed by a darker one, it got bigger and he could distinctly recognize the shape of a man as it approached him and Dick shamefully cowered a few lenghts further away. Full on shaking, tears unknowingly streaming down his face, a terrorized scream ripped out of his throat when he felt a hand connect to his shoulder.  
Dick bit his cheek immediately to silence himself more tears spilling as he swallowed down a sob.  
Why was this happening? H-he knew. He knew he wasn't a good enough pet, at least not as much as he should but he tried. He tried so hard all the time so why did he have to go through this? He didn't want a new master, he didn't want to belong to anyone else and have to obey anyone but his master.  
His real master. The one that taught him how to be strong, to be perfect, who had looked over him after his parents died, who perfected him. He didn't want to. To be sold to the highest bidder like-like some object. Sure master was rough, but it was for his own good, he knew. 

Weakly, the ebony curled on himself ignoring his injuries because Dick knew he would have more soon anyway, exhausted he waited for his beating so he could finally be alone and cry like he so desperately wanted to allow himself to. His lip was bleeding from being bitten too hard and it hurt and he didn't know if he could keep himself from breaking down for long. The child just wanted them to make this quick so he could give himself his shameful weakness. He didn't remember when he closed his eyes but when he blinked again the shapes had changed into people that he recognized as the ones that had taken him, staring at him with expressions he had never seen before. It made him want to crawl in a hole and never come out. He felt his ears turn red and he hid his face in his knees, his throat felt dangerously tight but he painfully swallowed down any sound because the least he could do was save them his disgraceful display of childishness. They were probably busy and had to sacrifice their time to meet him, he shouldn't waste it more than they were already. Well it was probably too late for that now. 

Dick wanted to disappear in that moment. To be so small no one could see his mistakes. To be so small no one would hear him if he wanted to cry. The ebony was terrified of being stared at, to have everyone's eyes on him made it easier to see what he did wrong. His heart sped up, he couldn't bare to be the center of anyone's attention. 

He was pulled back from his thoughts when he heard what had previously been a black and a green shape arguing in ushered voices.

"He woke up and went into a panic attack! Not to mention he screamed when Superman touched him! What's gonna happen when you go all Batman on him?! He's a kid for christ's sake, we found him in Deathstroke's base! Who knows what he's been through already?! You can't interrogate him like some criminal! Batman? That was a strange name Dick thought quietly, he knew no one could hear him say that and it was silly for him to think otherwise but his heart still accelerated when Batman turned his head towards him and their eyes met. Dick bowed his head and nearly choked on the air. There was one thing he could never do, under any circumstances and that was meeting anyone's eyes. He had done just that. Shaking, his heart sped up when he didn't turn his gaze away from him, his stare turning into a glare.

"We found him in Deathstroke's headquarters. That is precisely why we should be suspicious. It could be an act, we can't let him stroll about without knowing the full extent of his capacities." Dick didn't like Batman.

The boy became almost immediately certain Batman was a telepath when he started walking towards him, at an even pace. The child, if even possible, made himself smaller when the vigilante stubbornly made his way past Green Lantern.

"What is your name." He growled. Dick whimpered at the danger he detected in his voice. Apparently Batman didn't tolerate impertinence either because he grabbed his right arm by the wrist in a painful grip, pulled him to his feet and impatiently growled his question once more.

"What. Is. Your. Name."

"M-my name is R-Richard. Please  
f-forgive my insolence. I-I meant no disrespect." Dick flinched, his voice trembling through tears of fear. Dick decided he didn't dislike Batman anymore, he feared him. 

The grip on his hand lifted and he immediately brought it to his chest, backing against the wall, unable to dissimulate his fear in front of this intimidating man Dick prayed not to be his new owner.

"Your full name." Batman growled which made Dick press his arms closer to his chest. "I-I-I don't k-know sir." Dick squeaked, for a fraction a second moving his gaze from his feet to the man's fists when suddenly someone had moved in front of him.

"Gods Bruce! What has gotten into you! He is a child!" Dick flinched again when the furious voice of a woman filled the room.

"He needs to be questioned." Batman said stiffly, not tearing his eyes away from the shaking boy.  
Dick tried to keep himself from panicking at the sound of the vigilante's voice but even with the woman between them he could only see the tight fists that didn't loosen.

"No what he needs is to be reassured and comforted. You better than anyone should know that!" The unnamed woman yelled. Dick nearly jumped when she spun around and kneeled in front of him, just like Green lantern he recalled thinking of how gentle the man had been, he could see him glaring at Batman. Dick didn't know what but something about that smile made his heart slow down just the smallest bit. Contrarily to all those that had gotten near him during the last few hours, he did not feel incited to run away from her and he was pleased that no effort had to be put into staying rooted in place.

"You poor boy, you've been through enough." Her voice was quiet as if she thought it would cause him pain if she spoke any louder. The tall woman knelt down and peered at him, her blue eyes filled with sorrow. Her narrow eyebrows raising in a pained expression, she reached out and caressed his cheek, not a single care of the whimper he released at the action. With gentle hands she lifted the boy in her arms and walked right past the three men staring incredulously and past the doorway. Staring down at the baby in her arms and couldn't help the fond smile that tugged her lips. 'He looks like a prince.' She thought in awe at the glimmering sapphires, holding oceans within them, their edges glinting like diamonds reflected from his tears.

"Precious child, It's alright now, don't worry I won't let that man scare you anymore." The Amazon cooed at the boy in an effort to stop his tears. Dick nodded quietly but still shed a few more tears that he whipped away, hoping she hadn't seen him.

"You're safe now." Diana smiled but the boy saw the sadness in her eyes, he didn't point it out and simply listened as she spoke to him.

"Your hair has grown quite long." She pointed out before opening a steel door with the use of one of those scanners that he had seen in the previous room. He blushed and swapped his raven bangs out of his eyes with his bandaged fingers, embarrassed that he hadn't noticed how long it had gotten, nearly reaching his shoulders in a mess of dry blood, sweat and matt. He winced internally, no wonder he had made such a terrible impression.

"Wait here alright? I'll be back shortly." She said, surprising him out of his thoughts as she set him down on a big fluffy...chair? 

Dick didn't know what it was called but assumed it to be one anyway. He nodded quickly but stopped immediately when he realized his mistake. 

"I-I mean y-yes ma' am."

He remained frozen on the spot until she smiled at him and turned away, easing his fear. These people seemed less severe when it came to manners he thought to himself. Still, he would not let himself forget, he had already allowed himself to do so. Twice. Dick reprimanded himself. His tired eyes fell to his lap as he waited patiently for the woman to return, fighting off the rising anxiousness he felt at being left alone but soon enough she reappeared.  
Dick kept his eyes fixated to the floor, even as she gently took his hand in her own and led him to another steel door. As they entered, Dick stared confused at the bathroom he was now standing in.  
He wanted to ask what he was doing here but daren't do such a thing. Good pets speak when spoken to. He thought, annoyed that he had nearly forgotten his manners yet again.

"Richard, I have prepared the shower for you. I managed to find clothes that hopefully will fit you until we find more adequate clothing for you. Wash yourself and your hair, take your time and come find me once you are finished. I will be right outside alright?"

Dick's eyes widened, even more surprised as he saw the outfit and towel she held out for him. 

"Y-yes ma' am." He stuttered, taking the oversized clothes with unsteady hands, they were so soft!  
He didn't even notice when she left the room but found himself wildly looking around, slightly panicked at being alone again when he remembered her commands. A bit confused, he put the presents on the edge of the bathtub and slowly undressed himself, unable to go faster without wincing in pain. Eventually, he managed to remove all his clothes and climbed into the stream of water. Dick pulled away instantly when he felt warm water touch his hand, having expected it to be cold as it always was. He shook off his surprise and stepped under the stream completely and closed his eyes, a content sigh slipped past his lips. 

Warm water was something he had not felt in quite some time, he had forgotten how good it felt on his back. It felt like it melted away all his fears and him along with them. He shivered in pleasure before grabbing the bar of soap and cleaning himself, happy to finally be able to remove the dirt and grim from his body. The soft smell that met his nose as he rubbed his arms and legs clean made his small smile widen. 

He was not used to such luxuries and his heart filled with happiness at the thought that the nice lady thought he had done something to deserve this reward. He frowned when he couldn't think of what but decided not to push his luck while he rinsed the soap off and rubbing his locks, the water soaking through his charcoal black hair. Dick winced again when he saw the water turn pink, nearly red as it ran down to the drain, it took a few minutes of rinsing until it recovered it's transparency and the boy could move onto the shampoo, massaging it into his scalp. It smelled sweet, like fruit but he knew it was just fragrances that tricked his senses. 

He rinsed out the viscous substance difficulty with his bruised fingers but eventually rid himself of any trace and by then concluded he was clean.

Disappointed to have to leave the warm jet of water so soon, he tried to reach for the taps but after reaching up on his toes he gave up when he realized he was too small to reach them and he didn't want to slip trying. He debated whether or not he should try and remember if she had said anything about closing the water and after a few seconds of reassuring himself that it wasn't the case, Dick dried his hair with the towel before drying off the rest of his body. He grimaced when he saw a few red spots jumping out on the white, he hadn't meant to re-open any wounds. 

He took a deep breath to push back the sudden panic that bubbled in his stomach uncomfortably and hung it on a bar, doing his best to dissimulate the red patches stains he got into the fresh change of clothes. 

Finally when he was done slowly getting into the clothes, Dick quickly got out of the bathroom and went back through the hallway to the room she had left him in. He bit his lip hoping she wouldn't be upset for how long he had taken, but scoffed at his thought, of course she was! Everything had gone so well with her and now the boy had ruined it. She was probably fuming he had made her wait for so long but he didn't mean to! It's just that the water was so warm and it felt so good on his back and he didn't think it would matter if he stayed a few minutes longer.

Dick bit his lip harder when he felt his face heat up again, why did he keep screwing up! First he upset Batman and now this lady that had bent over backwards to be kind with him. He knew he shouldn't have wasted his time because now he had been a bad pet again and he didn't want to be bad anymore. He just wanted to be good.

 

____

 

Diana hadn't meant to. She really hadn't. But when she saw him flinch she just lost it.

For a man living with a child he sure didn't know how to act with one.

Scooping him up in her strong arms, she pretended not to see him furtively whipping his tears away as she carried him to her room. She hadn't really used the quarters in the Watchtower ever since she had moved to London so it would be full of spare clothes for the boy, she was fairly certain she would be able to find something for him to wear. By the time they got there she had already discerned the two main problems. 

Firstly, he was filthy. She could see blood and dirt on his pale skin and in his tangled ink-black hair, which led her to problem number two. The poor boy was in desperate need of a haircut. So when they got inside she immediately knew what to do with him. Diana told him to shower and come find her afterwards, guessing he would prefer if she were not around. Gods only knew why. She had expected to find him clean, filling the room with the scent of flowers and passion fruit. She didn't expect however, to find him fifteen minutes later crying in the hallway, gasping when she touched him. She didn't expect him to cry and plead that he was sorry for making her wait so long. That he hadn't meant to waste her time like a child. Diana hadn't expected such a small, frail boy to make her blood boil so easily with the use of only a few words. A new sort of rage, one she had never felt before. She wanted to march up to the one who dared hurt this precious angel and bash his skull and grind his bones to dust.

Her heart thumping fiercely in her chest, she held him protectively, removing her hand from his back when he flinched. Sadly, she had expected such a reaction. Diana explained that she wasn't upset and Herra a child should not look so relieved because of such small actions but she didn't voice her anger. Instead she asked if he agreed that she cut his hair.  
Diana had expected him to resist or voice his obvious discontent, that he didn't want her to touch his hair. Not the fearful, "yes ma'am. " that he immediately gave her as an answer. Diana didn't expect him to sit perfectly still while she untangled his knots with a brush because yes it was long. Not the way he stared quietly at his hands while she snipped away the long strands of hair, eyes darting about the floor. 

"Do you like it?" She asked, handing him a mirror to see her handywork. Diana didn't mean to chuckle softly when he smiled and let out a shy "yes ma'am."

Diana hadn't meant to. She really hadn't. But when she saw the small blush that spread on his cheeks she couldn't help but smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana is exasperated with Bruce, of all of them he’s the one with a kid amd still goes and scares him. Bruce is gonna feel like shit and won’t know hoe to apologize to him so that’s going to be interesting.


	3. Safe

Diana walked out of her room keeping her eyes on the frail child that followed her docile, head bowed and hands behind his back as he stared at his feet, avoiding her eyes. She could see his long lashes flutter anxiously every time they came across other leaguers, she watched as he tensed under their gaze obviously expecting some sort of aggressive approach towards him and her heart broke when she recognized the analyzing gaze of a warrior preparing for an imminent attack. He stayed close behind her, constantly taking note of his surroundings and the princess was more than happy to allow the proximity, it was the closest he had dared to venture near her and although it was a small progress it was progress nonetheless. 

Wonder woman debated whether or not to interfere but quickly discarded the idea remembering the reaction received earlier over an even simpler matter, preferring to preserve the sense of security she had managed to get through to him. It was disheartening to see a child so frightened, the ones she had encountered during her time in the League immediately related to heroes and felt at ease as soon as they spotted the symbols on their chests. She was used to being trusted and she felt frustrated that she couldn't get him to loosen up. Children were naïve and optimistic, but the raven haired boy that carefully examined anyone that entered a ten meter radius proved her wrong. When he looked at the heroes he saw a possible threat, someone with the ability to inflict pain upon another individual and in a certain way she could see his reasoning. Heroes were known for protecting the innocent and defenceless, be that negotiation or a fist-fight, peace came at a price. Children shouldn't be able to perceive such things, they should be ignorant, pure, innocent and peaceful beings that could hear, see or do no evil. Protected by a veil that hid all impurity from their eyes full of wonder that preserved their innocence and made sure things remained as such. 

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest when she thought of what horrors he must have been through to shock him into this cruel world of sins and pain, far past his childish demeanour.

As the Amazon strode through the hallways she realized that the poor boy couldn't keep up, his small legs moving desperately to keep up and yet she could see him falling slightly behind at every step. She halted and he almost collided against her legs. In that small gap she realized the reason of his slow footing was a limp that he had successfully kept hidden. Her jaw clenched but she forced her voice out calmly, using her sweet tone to hide her inner turmoil.

"Richard, are you in pain?" She turned to face him speaking calmly, not wanting him to mistake her concern with annoyance when the amazon had realized the slightest change of tone would quickly lead him to that conclusion. She could see the confusion on his face turn into anxiousness and her blood began to boil at the man who had made him afraid of admitting pain when she saw his fearful eyes as he spoke with a shy voice. "Yes ma'am."  
She frowned when he fidgeted, his small face heating up in embarrassment while he examined his feet.

"I'm not upset, I'm simply confused. Why didn't you say anything? " Diana said gently, trying to reassure his fear but it was clearly too late when he stepped back.

"Because I must speak only when spoken to, ma'am." He answered without missing a heartbeat, his eyes darting to her hands, waiting for them to curl into fists but to his relief the was no such development when the woman spoke.

"I don't know how things worked before, but here we speak whenever we please. I do not mind walking at a slower pace."

The boy stiffened, his gaze lowering to the floor, he knew that already, people spoke and pets were silent. Dick was confused, he hadn't spoken much.   
Maybe she didn't like that he cried earlier and was reminding him to be quiet? Why? Was he going to be introduced to someone? His worry dulled, yes that was it. The boy felt grateful that she had even tried to be discrete when she reminded him of his place, he was the dirt beneath her feet, insignificant, he was nothing and yet there wasn't as much as a look of disgust in her eyes when she looked at him. She must have a soft spot for children, the boy reasoned. Why else would such an elegant woman be kind to him?

Diana frowned but didn't add anything more. Instead she took his good hand in her own and they made their way to the medical wing in a slow pace.   
The princess would much rather have taken him in her arms again but she had noticed a subtle change in his demeanour, he looked smaller, if that were even possible.

Because their pace had slowed she had the time to examine him better, his eyes seemed permanently locked on the floor, like he was afraid to meet anyone's eyes. Even when he felt her gaze on him he would make himself smaller and try not to be noticed, she wanted nothing more than to hold him tightly and take the fear away from him but she kept her distance having learnt in the short period of time that it would do more harm than good. Finally they made it back to the medical bay where she had taken the boy and left her colleagues to argue. She sighed internally hoping one in particular would have a better approach than earlier if they hoped to get any information from the small child at all.

They both entered the med bay and once inside, Dick felt fear well up in his chest and his heartbeat picked up a notch when all the people from earlier came into view, still there observing him attentively as he followed behind Wonder Woman. He let go of her hand and stood straight next to her. This was why she asked him to be silent he thought to himself grateful for the heads-up, master told him to never speak when in presence of other people, especially his business partners unless they asked him questions. Dick took a deep breath, it's simple, be quiet and answer politely. That should be easy for him, he's done this many times before already.  
He didn't even have time to prepare himself as Batman had already begun to interrogate him but he wasn't as afraid as the first time now that he was a safe distance away and close to the exceptionally tall woman that he felt would intervene were the situation to degrade once more. 

"You referred to Deathstroke as your guardian earlier, is he your father?" It seemed unlikely but the boy certainly pointed to it although he could find no similarities between them which for some reason made his nerves settle a bit.

"He's my master." There was a long silence and Dick was confused, shouldn't they know that? If his master had indeed sent them then he would have told them who he was.

"Do you know Deathstroke's location?

Dick hesitated, locations were meant to stay classified or else the whole mission could be compromised and that was definitely not something that was supposed to happen. 

"I can't say." He felt his heart beating faster. What would Batman do to him now? The way Green Lantern spoke of him earlier made fear coil in his guts. 

"Can't or won't." Batman grunted.

Dick ignored the displeased tone of his voice and tried not to flinch away from his intimidating gaze.

"He'll punish me." That was true, as soon as a rule was broken, whether he was at fault or not, if a task was not completed or an order broken he was always punished for it. Disobedience was always the most serious offence and the boy wasn't ready to risk doing just that.

Batman and the other people gave him a strange look that made him uncomfortable and he tried to ignore the growing unease he felt. 

"You're safe here, no harm will come to you for speaking."

Dick bit his lip, he was going to be in trouble one way or another. 

"I-I don't want to be in trouble. Please sir, I-I can't say."

Much to his relief the man gave him a small nod and passed on to the next question.

"Do you know why Deathstroke abducted you?"

Dick blinked in surprise, abducted? He hadn't been taken against anyone's will. That night master had come to him when he was alone in the world, hurt and confused and had taken him in his care, per his parents will. He couldn't even begin to explain how benevolent master had been to him in that very second, when he held him in his arms and let him cry in his shoulder. When no one else cared about the gypsy brat he had been there, caring for him when he couldn't care for himself.

"Sir, my master did not abduct me, w-when my..." he nervously pinched his palm, trying to ignore the frustration that came when his words began to stutter. "My parents wanted him to take me if they died. When they fell he took me."

His voice died slowly when he remembered that night. That dreadful nightmare that never left his mind. No one missed the tremor that ran down his spine.

"Your parents fell to their deaths?"

Dick nodded before his face flushed when their eyes fell back to him, he felt like he was in a giant spotlight and he didn't know how much longer he could bear it's intensity. "Sir my parents fell from the trapeze." He clarified again, heart pounding in his chest and he hoped the man wouldn't be annoyed that he was being so vague, master definitely would have given him a solid backhand and demand that he gave him a clear answer. 

Batman stared at the boy before him, he knew this boy. That ivory skin, charcoal black locks and sapphire blue eyes, he had made the headlines in newspapers for weeks, one look into his blue eyes propelled him years in the past where he was desperately searching the city, his blood boiling and heart steadily breaking away in grief, every dead end chiseling away a small piece of his heart. He held the newspaper obsessively, staying up day after day, searching in his cape during the night and his alter-ego during the day, combing the streets and orphanages. The words printed in bold letters in the crumpled newspaper supplying him with endless determination.

'THE LAST FLYING GRAYSON IS STILL MISSING'

The police had filled reports of the missing boy nearly hours after the tragic deaths of the world renowned family of trapeze artists. He had spent months scouting Gotham city searching for the young orphan but had never succeeded. Every year on the day of his disappearance there had been a feeling in his gut that he was out there begging to be found. A frightened, hurt little boy praying for a saviour.

His attention snapped back at the small raven haired boy and that guilt that had driven him through sleepless nights resurfaced at the sight of the hand-shaped bruising on his frail arm. 

"Your name is Richard John Grayson."

Dick's eyes widened in shock, that was his name? It did sound vaguely familiar, wasn't John his dad?  
Dick nodded in acknowledgment but put the bit of information in the back of his mind, he could look into it later, right now he needed to know why he was here. He couldn't go on much longer without knowing some kind of information about his guardian's whereabouts. If that really was the name his parents had given him, than they certainly must have wanted him to be in the care of the man they entrusted his life to.

"Sir? C-can I ask a question?"

"Yes." Batman nodded for him to continue, 

"Why did you bring me here? My master didn't mention sending anyone to take me before he left."

This time he could see them staring at each other in silence, it made him wonder if he should have been quiet instead though everything he said seemed to lead to the same outcome. They just kept looking at each other and Dick felt his fear resurfacing, was he being taken away for a reason? Was it him that had become too much of a nuisance? Was this his mistake? Somebody please just tell him why he's here. Then at least he'll know what he's done to deserve this. Tears formed in his sapphire blue eyes and he bit his lip, he just wanted this to be another nightmare, he wanted to be on Deathstroke's lap while he pet his hair and feel the safety that emanated from him. He wanted him to tell him be would never give him away, that he would always be safe by his side, his anchor that held him down through the storms. The small boy blinked the humidity away when they looked back at him, he felt so small, he was so lost and confused and he couldn't bare the weight on his heart anymore.

Superman cleared his throat and much to Dicks discontent, the rest of the adults cleared the room.

"Someone will be here to answer your questions shortly." The man gave him a small smile before following the masked crowd out of the medical wing, leaving the small boy even more worried and equally terrified at being alone again. He couldn't help the anxiety that crept up his throat, why was this happening? It was supposed to be another meeting like all the others, he was supposed to wait a few days until his master returned but instead he's here and he doesn't even know where that is. The juvenile sniffed and wiped away his tears shamefully, he shook his head weakly reminding himself that he was beyond such things but the tremors that washed over his malnourished body were beyond his control. Dick stared at the floor trying to keep himself together when the door suddenly opened and he stared wide-eyed at the first familiar face he'd seen since his arrival at the orbiting headquarters stepped in the room. Emotions swirled inside the boy like the desperate need to feel the security of his tight embrace and the one to cower away and the poor trembling child found himself caught in between, settling for the small, easily missed whimper he let out against his better judgment. He flinched and blinked back the tears that threatened to overflow when the mercenary knelt down to his level. 

The Martian felt the intense wave of emotion that radiated from him and slowly pulled him in his arms when he sensed the conflict and uncertainty flicker in his sapphire gaze. That was apparently exactly what he needed because not even a second later the small boy was latched onto his chest, his small arms tucked safely between them while he clutched the fabric of his uniform tightly.

The shapeshifter looked down surprised at the mop of raven hair pressed against him, his eyes were brimming with tears while he shook crying silently in his arms. It was disturbing for him to see anyone at this level of distress more concerned with being quiet than feeling emotional relief and comfort, especially a child in this situation and J'onn knew by the mixed emotions he was receiving that the boy felt the same. He wrapped his arms around him, startled by this newfound trust and started rubbing his back in a circle motion waiting for the small mews to cease when he felt something beneath the small layer of fabric of his borrowed shirt and his eye widened when he traced the two long bumps with his fingers, two very long, very large and very abnormal shapes that definitely should not be there.   
He hadn't realized he had applied more pressure when little Richard let out a small cry of pain or fear, both he realized as the young child moved further against his chest, trying the reduce the pressure his hand was applying.

"Master?" Dick was surprised that his master held him so gently, it was an unnerving sensation that made his skin crawl but he tried to ignore the feeling in his gut that told him-screamed at him that everything about this was so terribly wrong. His master would never even think of sharing an embrace with him let alone give him any kind of physical contact without purpose or anything that wasn't a form of punishment, without having earned it but he couldn't bring himself to care for the two indicators that contradicted this entire scene and he let himself hope...just this once. He knew he would regret this somehow but he needed this so badly, it was selfish and he hated himself for giving in to his desires so easily but he had taken more emotional strain than he thought possible, he needed this to be real, to be comforted.

"Richard, this must be very confusing for you, this all happened so suddenly and I'm pleased with you for keeping yourself level-headed through this entire debacle. I regret having to put you through this but I felt it would be in your best interest to entrust your safety to the Justice League seeing as I was unavailable at the time." J'onn aimed for a deep voice, keeping it levelled, the boy needed it so. 

"There was a change in my plans. The trip will take longer than I had arranged which is why I've decided to leave you in the care their care, they are completely trustworthy and they will keep you safe."

The more Dick heard the more he relaxed when he realized this was a misunderstanding, just as he had hoped . He played with the fabric between his fingers nervously when silence settled on them both. He understood now that his reasoning had been flawed but he couldn't get rid of the small twinge of fear that persisted even after his doubts had been reassured. No matter how hard he tried it just wouldn't leave, like a resilient stain that wouldn't wash out of his heart. Still shaking with the force of his repressed emotions he shut his eyes tightly and willed himself to calm down while he listened to the heartbeat of his mentor. It was serene, unchanging. Not exactly a melody but it felt oddly just as nice and pleasing to his ears but his own heart didn't align itself with the rhythm, it was agitated and much quicker opposed to the louder, stronger pulse.

A single tear broke free, sliding down his cheek to his chin and fell on the the mans chest.   
Then another. 

And another. 

Tears kept flowing down his face against his efforts to contain them and he cried until the flow became an irreversible torrent, washing away all self-discipline as he bawled his eyes out until he was drained. By then Dick's eyes felt heavy as did the rest of his frail body that he very well could have easily mistaken for lead and the young child melted in the arms of the mercenary that had remained completely still while he continued to stroke his back, minding not to apply to much pressure on the strange lumps that seemed to be quite sensitive. 

The small raven-haired boy gasped in surprise when he felt rough calloused thumbs wipe away his tears and caress his flushed cheeks, frozen in shock before he sighed happily and shut his eyes while leaning heavily in the touch, his entire body going slack. The change was so drastic the Martian wondered if he hadn't done him harm when he realized that he was in a completely relaxed state and felt completely safe, entirely trusting him with just a simple touch, he must have accidentally initiated some sort of intimate form of affection by the look of it. He was radiating pure joy even through his exhaustion. J'onn knew even without his telepathic abilities that something had upset him to the point of a breakdown and it was easy to see it through all the emotions projected during the short lapse of time. He knew what he had to do to reassure him completely even if it weighed his conscience down with guilt to pronounce these words that did not belong to him. 

"I couldn't live without you, you are so important to me and I will never let anyone take you away from me, do you understand?"

Dick nodded against his chest and yawned before snuggling deeper into his shirt, still gripping the fabric firmly in his small fist, his breathing slowing to a regular pace.

"Will you behave during my absence?" The man demanded with his deep voice but Dick couldn't help but feel it sounded different. Softer. Like Wintergreen.

"Yes master." He mumble drowsily, his voice barely above a whisper, content when the tall man pet his hair, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from him before he felt into a deeper state of calm.

"Good. I do not know how long I will be absent and I expect exemplary conduct."

Dick nearly didn't have enough strength to nod before he fell asleep under the influence of the psychic usurping the identity of his mentor. The said telepath waited in silence until he was certain the boy was completely under before gently lifting him up, a hand under his legs and adjusted the one under his back as to not apply any force on the sensitive bumps as he exited the room, morphing back to his original form in the process. A part of him felt guilty for lying to the boy when he looked down at the bundle of sleep snoring softly against his chest. The League had been engaged in a telepathic conversation when they agreed to keep him at the watchtower for the time being, all the while he sensed the anxiety emanate from the young ones small frame at exuberant amounts. He was glad to ease his worries in dreamless slumber.   
The Martian flew steadily through the watchtower, carefully not to wake his charge as he made his way to a guest room. It was small but spacious enough that the boy wouldn't feel claustrophobic upon his awakening as he had previously demonstrated in the med bay, a plain bed against the wall and a dresser with a few clean clothes, they had scrambled to find him some actual clothes at the last minute decision to keep him at the watchtower though they were all a few sizes too big for the child. 

From what Batman had told them the boy was six years old though he looked no more than four, clearly malnourished during his time with Deathstroke, if they were lucky, they could get him to return to a normal eating pattern and hopefully keep his growth from being stumped any further. Anger flared in his chest as he laid him slowly onto the bed and tucked him under the comforter, anyone who took pleasure in hurting such a small innocent being was a sick monster that deserved to be locked away for all eternity. The Martian's throat became tight when he recalled the carnage of his home planet and children being slaughtered mercilessly, all the while as he attempted to help those he could. He would end up being to only to escape, much like what the boy had lived through. His attention returned to the sleeping form and he brushed his cheek one last time before exiting the room, closing the lights on his way out. 

Nothing would happen to that boy so long as there was still breath in his chest. The League would keep him safe.


	4. Seeking advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has realized how badly he messed up and so did Hal so naturally, he went to see Alfred and ask his advice about it.

[Gotham City, The batcave]

Bruce passed a hand through his unruly locks of hair, resisting the urge to tug at it and instead pulled off the heavy cape that draped around his shoulders. It did nothing to soothe the remaining weight that weighed him down and he scrubbed his face as he slumped back in his chair. The dim light of the large computer illuminated his tired face as he reflected, Diana had wasted no time to scold him and though he could never admit it there was some truth to it. Although he remained convinced that he was right to have used precaution, he might have gone overboard during his first encounter with the boy and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t being eaten alive by the guilt of his actions. All he could think of anymore was the sound of his frightened voice break and the way his eyes darted to his fist. It didn’t take long for him to realize the boy had been expecting him to…expecting the man to hit him. 

A sigh ran through the cave and he held his face in his hands, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in his chest at the thought of a child assuming he would do such a thing. Sure he beat up criminals but Gotham knew he defended the innocent. He hated that he had been portrayed in such a light, to children of all people. Sighing for the fourth time, Bruce peeled off his costume and climbed the granite staircase, dragging his feet miserably. It was bad enough that he had let Deathstroke get his claws on the boy but now that he had been given a chance to do better he had thrown it out the window. 

The raven haired man stood in silence in front of the entrance and took a moment to collect himself before he stepped through, keeping to his usual state before slipping out from behind the grandfather clock. He was met with the silence of the manor and relief flooded through him. He didn’t think he could pretend he didn’t feel like the biggest prick in the world with Jay interrogating him over the meetings linked to the world’s other heroes. Not that he didn’t love to tell him all about it, he just wouldn’t be able to fool him into thinking nothing special had happened when he had stayed two and a half hours longer than usual. What kind of witchcraft had his butler used to get him into bed and stay there? 

Speaking of, as soon as he stepped into the kitchen he was met with the back of his old friend, dishes in hand as he dunked them into the soapy water. The vigilante fell on one of the many stools with quickly took the elderly man’s attention. 

“Master Bruce, home at last I see. How was your meeting?” Alfred put down the last plate and remove his gloves as he walked over to meet the disheartened young man sitting in his kitchen.  
The look in his eyes said it all.

“What happened?” His oldest charge did not often dawn that look of utter defeat for he did not believe in such a concept. Nothing good ensued when it was the case and it must have been terrible for him not even to be able to look at the butler in the eye as he answered weakly.

“We found him Alfred.”

It took him a moment to understand before Bruce put the old newspaper he had kept in his lap onto the counter, the bold lettering easy to decipher even in his old age. 

“My goodness. Where did you find the boy?”  
The surprise that dawned his features only had Bruce feeling worse for answering. Alfred didn’t deserve to have to deal with this now but he didn’t want to lie to his old friend if he could help it. 

“Deathstroke had him. He’s had him since the start. He found him before I could.” Bruce felt anger twinge at his heart, how could he have failed so badly and let an innocent child be abused for so long by that monster. Children victim of abuse were a recurrence in his line if work but he never let any if them fall in the hands of their abusers. 

“Through no fault of your own might I add master Bruce.” It was clear by the displeased note in his voice that he had figured out the wry look on his face. He didn’t feel like having an argument over the topic and held his tongue as the butler put down his gloves with a bit more force than necessary. 

“No I will have none of this Master Bruce. That mercenary found him through no fault of your own and I am sure you are as aware of that as I am. What I don’t understand however, is why you would beat yourself down for something you had no play of influence over.” His voice booked no arguments. Bruce took a few moments to build his courage before revealing that the problem bothering him were his previous actions. Throw him any of the city’s villains and he didn’t bat an eye. Make him sit at the counter to throw his feelings out in the open and face his butler’ judgement and here he was unable to look at him in the eyes. Finally after sitting in agonizing silence while time seemed to slow down around them and thinking of ten different possible ways the upcoming conversation could go for the worst, he finally spilled. The thing with Alfred that would never change was that he knew when something wasn’t being told. Instead of raising his voice he would let you sit in silence, eyes cold and only giving a few dry quips to let his discontent known until you couldn’t bare it anymore. Even if he stood for hours his resolve would never be the first to even waver. Even as an adult he knew it was best to just get over it quickly and throw whatever despicable actions had been committed and hope that after the hours of disappointed looks he was still willing to help you get out of whatever load you got yourself stuck in. He had seen the strongest wills bend under the pressure.

“There’s something else.” He started wearily, continuing only when faced by the prompt look that told him to continue.

He liked his lips and began to recount the events that transpired hours before. By the end of it Alfred had taken a seat next to him and was currently sitting, obviously bothered by the events that transpired. 

“I’ve made a mistake Alfred and I don’t know what to do to fix it.” Bruce felt completely deflated when he looked up to meet his grandfather’s gaze, just hearing himself saying how much of an atrocious person made the guilt worsen tenfold.

“I can see how that would be a problem yes.” The old butler said more to himself if anything before he turned to the man that had seeked his guidance. After eying him critically as he waited completely rigid on the stool, he cleared his throat making the younger man’s head shoot up to look at him with hopeful eyes. Oh the times when he was younger, a mere boy confessing his wrongdoings, he always had the same look in his eyes when he feared he was upset and would spend the next few days orbiting around him at his beck and call until he felt he had been forgiven. The butler would be lying if he said he didn’t take advantage of it and got him to complete a few chores here and there but the boy had never complained once, not when he was told to do the dishes or sweep the floor, to clear the table or pull out the bad weeds in the garden under the sun. He always sprang right into action and if he didn’t know how to do something then he would solicit his mother’s advice and try again and again until he got it right. He kept to his labour long after he was forgiven and pleaded for Alfred not to hold his mistakes against him and for the life of him, the old butler couldn’t find it in him to do it. Not then and certainly not now. “I am not the one you should be seeking forgiveness from master Bruce. That boy didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was and you know it, you should be proving your good intentions to him if you want any chance at pardon.”

“He’s afraid of me Alfred. You weren’t there, he was terrified of looking at me in the eye, he kept looking at me like I was going to-“ The word got stuck like glass in his throat, his fists clenching.  
“He thought I was going to beat him. He was certain we were going to beat him everytime he so much as looked at us.”

“Oh my. That is quite...disconcerting.” The weariness in his voice matched the one he felt as he scrubbed his face tiredly. He needed a shave, god why had he let this happen? “He’s terrified of everyone and me especially. If I set him off then we’ll be doing it backwards. I’m afraid that if I so much as throw him a glance he’ll think the worst.” The worst being something he didn’t feel like imagining right now. God only knew what horrors he had been subjected to by that killer, from what J’onn told him the kid didn’t even think that Deathstroke was in the wrong, that he was helping. If that wasn’t raising up a red flag in his head than the myriad of scars that covered the boy was enough to have him reeling. He wasn’t even seven and every part of his body was covered in white lines made by-fuck he didn’t want to know. He didn’t even want to think about what must have been done for him to still think so highly of the mercenary. It was all screaming Stockholm and he prayed it wasn’t because he had met Richard at the circus when he was still a toddler waddling in front of the animals pen and slipping hay through the bars, he was a sweet boy who didn’t deserve to have to deal with something so horrible. 

“Then try master Bruce. And if it doesn’t work the first time around then try and try again until it does. That boy needs to know that he can trust you if he wants to forgive you and that’s not going to happen over night. If you want progress than you’ll have to work for it.” The British man then rose from the stool and returned with a plate that he set in front of him with a glass of water. 

“I shall retire for the night. Goodnight master Bruce, I wish you luck.” The butler smiled at him encouragingly and gave his shoulder a light squeeze before moving to the doorway. A sign that he would have to figure out a solution on his own.

“Goodnight Alfred, thank you for the advice.” The tension in his shoulders never left as he looked down at his warm meal. 

“Always a pleasure sir.”

He started eating in the empty kitchen, determination ignited in his gut. He would fix this by any means necessary. The detective hadn’t spent years looking for Richard Grayson only to let him slip between his fingers.

 

____

 

[Coast city]

Hal slowly climbed onto the mattress, his weight making it dip and caused the sleeping form to stir as he turned, rolled over and wrapped his arms around the woman sleeping in front of him. She turned her head around and passed a her fingers through the disarranged strands of brown hair, he could see the corner of her lips move upwards and her lashes flutter a bit before she lay back down and fell back asleep. The brunette hadn’t questioned him when he arrived nearly three hours later than usual after a mandatory League meeting, sensing his need for space. He had spent the time in the shower trying to figure out his emotions before he resigned himself to finding his girlfriend already asleep on their bed. Great, he’d made her wait up, Carol was patient when it came to him bringing himself to her, she didn’t force his hand when it came to fixing his problems and he was grateful to have found a woman that could tolerate him the way she did but he knew her patience would run out eventually. His was already nearing the end. Bruce was unbe-freaking-lievable. Hadn’t the guy adopted Jason off the streets? Did he not know how to treat a traumatized child? He wasn’t an expert on the subject but he was pretty sure yanking a kid suspected of being physically and mentally abused for years was not the way to go about it. 

He sighed and breathed in the smell of Carol’s freshly washed hair, spooning her from behind. He hoped Diana got that brute in line or he’d call Alfred on him no sweat. If Bruce was gonna be near the kid on the watchtower he was gonna have to do much much better the next time around. They were lucky the amazon had swooped in to save the day or that would’ve ended badly for sure if the way the kid was nearly crying was any indicator. Hal hadn’t realized his jaw was clenching until his teeth started to ache from grinding so much. Jeez why was he getting himself so worked up over this? Sure, he hated child abuse as much as the next one but he didn’t stay up all night thinking of nothing but those two tearful blue eyes staring at him from under the console, whimpering in fear every time he threw a look his way. Was it because he knew the kid in question would be at his workplace for a while and he would have to coexist without setting him off? 

Maybe.

He sighed against the brunette’s neck, moving his finger in small circles on her arm. He needed sleep if he wanted to sort any of it out but every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the raven haired boy hiding from him as if he were worse than the monster that had him there to begin with. It made his stomach flip to be seen as the bad guy, especially by a kid. What did that bastard do to make the boy want to stay there at all? That was just wrong, in so many ways. Wrong that he pleaded to stay, wrong that he constantly thought he was in the wrong and so very wrong of Bruce to act so horribly towards him. The guy better make it up to him or they were gonna have a problem. Again, why was he riling himself up like this? Seriously, this knot of emotions was getting too weird for him to handle especially since this wasn’t his normal behaviour. He buried his face in the brown locks of hair and let himself be lulled to sleep, the anger cooling off and his tiredness catching up instead. The Green Lantern was out like a light. 

 

____

 

[Gotham city, Wayne manor]

Bruce groaned as his alarm blared in his ears and he winced when the curtains were pulled apart without warning, bombarding his eyes with light.

“Mornin’!” The mop of black hair was bouncing onto the king size bed before he could object and the blanket were swiftly pulled away, the sudden rush of cold effectively shocking him awake. 

“Wake up!” The ten year old jumped on him repeatedly until he rolled onto his side and groaned into his pillow. “It’s too early to be alive.” 

“But you’re already alive.” The boy stared at him confused before shrugging it off as a weird adult thing. They always said the weirdest things, most of all the woman at the charity gallas and such. Bruce said he’d tell him when he was old enough. They kept forgetting that he was pulled out of crime alley, the worst part of all of Gotham city, the worst of the worst. There weren’t many things that could top what he’s lived through over in the most crime populated block of the most criminally active city in the world but he knew arguing wouldn’t accomplish anything this time around, especially if Alfred was backing him up on it. No one in the right state of mind went against Alfred. No one.

His eyes snapped to the form of his guardian that remained unmoving on the bed, grumbling in his pillow. Something about not having slept for two days. He huffed in annoyance before climbing out of the bed, landing on his feet with a thud. He reached out, standing on the tip of his feet until he grabbed something. The young boy huffed in effort, bracing his feet against the bed’s railing and pulled the man’s ankle with as much strength he could summon until his hands slipped and he fell backwards. Before he had time to hit the floor however, Bruce leaped from the mattress and caught his young ward before he had the chance to hurt himself in the fall, catching him by the wrist scowling while his young ward gave him an un regretful look. The sudden rush of adrenaline brought by his paternal instincts had been the last kick he needed to finally gain complete consciousness, not that he appreciated being woken in a panic. He brought the boy to his lap ignoring the squawk of indignation when he passed a hand through his dark curls. The kid might act like he hated it but he always saw him try to hide a smile more often than not, though he would never tell him that. Though this time the smile was definitely missing from his lips.

“Jason please refrain from doing that. If I hadn’t caught you, you could have really hurt yourself alright?” He tried to keep the stern out of his voice, the boy had probably been excited to see him since he hadn’t been awake long enough to great him when he returned from his meeting last night. Sleep hadn’t come to him easily and he’d spent the whole night thinking of how to approach the orphan on the watchtower. As he rose to his feet, still holding the boy in arms while squirmed out of his grip to race down the hallway, Bruce revised his options. He could try to approach him now while the events were fresh rather than let them linger and form conclusions or he could give the boy some space and security, let him fall into a more stable situation before trying to explain why he’ d had such a bad reaction. Both options had an equal amount of risks that could ensue but he’d figured whichever he chose would probably still go south. Like his butler had warned him, this wasn’t going to happen overnight. 

As he climbed down the stairs he doubled over with a grunt when he was literally tackled to the floor by the ball of energy that was sitting on his stomach, teal eyes staring at him hotly. Mad.

“Where were you? I waited up all night for you but you never showed! Alfred wouldn’t let me wait for you and you promised you’d read my essay!” The boy bounced on his feet, each time cutting the man’s supple of air as a way to put emphasis on his anger. Jason always had to work harder than anyone in his classes to make up for all the years of school he’d had to pass while living on the crime ridden streets of Gotham. He was exceptionally bright for his young age and loved all things related to learning, Alfred and Diana were the ones to introduce him to literature and it was amazing to follow him through his progress as he surpassed every student in his grade. When Jason first arrived at the manor and didn’t yet know of Bruce’s extracurricular activities, he hadn’t known what to do with all his free time so Alfred helped him pick out a few books and taught him how to read. It had been trying to teach the boy when he quickly became frustrated with himself and lashed out, humiliated and discouraged everytime he faced difficulty. Though Alfred’s patience had helped make much progress with him, Diana made a real breakthrough to him and to this day, they both spent many hours in the gardens where she taught him about his history and of the Amazons, having been present in a few of the events she counted and it was safe to say Jason had found his way of learning. Not memorizing word after word but to learn. Bruce was pleased when his marks started to raise exponentially and he had been pleasantly surprised after a long day at the office when he ran to him in Alfred with a graded paper, yelling about how his teacher had taken his text out of all the class as an example to follow. It was adorable to watch him run around him in circles laughing before he caught him and threw him in the air, eliciting yelps of laughter while he made Bruce promised to listen to him read it before bed and now he felt crushed not only the child he had left at the League’s headquarters but also by the one pouting on top of him.

“I’m sorry Jason, I was held back a bit later than usual, when I got home you were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.” He tried to plead but Jason was having none of it. He promptly climbed off and stomped to the kitchen where food was already waiting on the table, sulking to his seat before he picked angrily at his food and shoveled the plate’s content into his mouth. 

“Jay try to understand, something important took place and I couldn’t just walk away.” The was too tiring for him to deal with, he didn’t know how to appease the boy’s anger and he knew he was only reacting this way because of the hurt he felt but the thing with Bruce was that he either made up or made everything so, so much worse when it came to Jason's temper. It almost always ended with the child screaming and thumping up the stairs and slamming the doors with as much force as he could. Bruce would then follow him up ready to win their argument but always stopped when he heard his boy either crying or letting himself fall against the wall or on the bed. Of course it didn’t occur to him that a ten year old had no interest in winning arguments and was only trying to get a message across to his emotionally inept self. Everytime he spoke with his forehead pressed against the door and apologized for not trying to understand more and not being as open as he needed. It only became clear to him once he’d cooled off and it was torturous to wait at the door and listen for an indication that he hadn’t permanently destroyed their relationship. Even now it was a fear that hadn’t left him during the near three years living with the boy. When he forgave him he would listen to him climb off the mattress and step lightly to the door, hesitantly waiting before finally unlocking the door. It would take him a few seconds to pick the lock and barge in like he found himself resisting nearly each time but he had promised Jason that his room belonged to him and that no one was allowed in without his permission, unlike at his old home where doors brought no security whatsoever with a father usually breaking through them. If he took away the only sense of control the boy felt then there was no saying how it would affect his trust and that was something he wasn’t willing to lose anytime soon after the hard work he’d put in to achieve it.

“Whatever.” The juvenile huffed and turned his head away from his guardian, plate long forgotten. 

“Jay please, I didn’t mean to stay so long. I’m sorry I-“ His voice was taking a desperate turn, usually Alfred acted as mediator and cut an argument short before it scaled up in intensity but without him as buffer Bruce could easily see this going downhill.

“Liar!” The wet voice that came through showed just how upset he really was and and Bruce got out of his seat in favour of walking up to his ward, kneeling in front of him while he put a hand on his knee. 

“You said you’d listen to me read it to you. You promised! I waited for you but you though some dum meeting was more important, it’s like you don’t even care!” He screamed at him and shoved him in the chest before jumping out of his seat and turning away ready to leave and find the butler.

“Of course I care Jason, I’m so proud of you and it makes me so happy to see you flourish in doing what you love.” The man couldn’t hide the hurt in his eyes as he stopped the boy from leaving by putting his hand on his shoulder which he roughly shook off. It was his normal reaction when upset to lash out violently. After a while they had worked on dulling it down to a more stable coping but when a crime alley kid was put under stress, they didn’t have the choice but to become as dangerous as their oppressors if they wanted to survive. Scared children were unpredictable and dangerous, that was something that had been engraved deep inside his mind and when he felt overwhelmed by his emotions that was exactly what he resorted to, saying or doing things in the heat of the action and the billionaire knew better than to take it at heart but he couldn’t help the hurt he felt each time around.

“Stop lying I know you don’t! It’s just a stupid paper to you!” Bruce felt his heart clench painfully when he saw his fluffy eyes and flushed cheeks. He turned the boy around and knelt in front of him again. “Would I be trying to prove you wrong if it were?”

Jason sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, shaking his head ‘no’. 

“That’s right and you know why?” Jason shook his head again, refusing to look at him and instead opting to fix his feet.

“Because I care about you Jay, I care so much my heart could burst. I would love to hear your essay, if you still want to.” His voice remained as calm as always except for the warmth that crept in.

“Really?” The boy’s blue eyes reached his own, hopeful as he took him in his arms. He hated that he felt the need for him to confirm it to him so he whipped away the humidity with his thumb. Arguments didn’t usually end this quickly and clean when it came to his protégé, he was proud of himself for catching on so quickly.

“Definitely.”

Bruce felt a smile tug his lips as Jason’s pout was replaced with a small grin before he jumped out of his arms. “Race you!”

Bruce ran after the boy loudly, following the sounds of excited laughter ringing through the halls as his foster father chased him to his room, both of the raven haired individual’s worried gone without a trace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I didn’t get Jason completely right but I was thinking about including ten (nearing eleven mind you) year old typical behaviour so don’t shit on me just yet, I have this whole story planned out in mind head guys. Patience.


End file.
